I feel like throughout my almost two years of blogging about my Peace Corps Guatemala experience, I have constantly started entries by stating, "I can't believe ___ (time) has already gone by" or "I can't believe that I only have ____(time) left"...
Well, here I go again. I only have two and a half months left of service in Guatemala, and it is a truly crazy thing to think about. I wouldn't necessarily say the time has flown, though not in a negative way. I just really do feel like I've been here for two years already (well, one year and 11 months. close enough) I went to the US for 16-day vacation in June, a truly incredible trip, during which people constantly said, "I can't believe it's already been two years!!" Well, I can. I can honestly say that it has been a constant challenge to become accustomed to another way of life, another culture, another form of communication. And somewhere along the way, these "other ways" have become normal to me, and everything that I knew before seems strange. For example, we went to a BBQ at my cousins' house, and when we went to put out the fire, my cousin grabbed a pitcher of water to pour on the grill. My initial reaction was, "NOOO don't use THAT water!! That's agua pura! (purified water)." But, oh yeah, in the US it's okay to drink tap water, I don't have to treat it like such a precious resource. And during my trip, it felt so weird to finish a meal, and not yell to everyone sitting in my vicinity at a restaurant "BUEN PROVECHO!" And to not have people constantly noticing me or watching my every move. In contrast, I felt completely invisible in the US. There were so many stark differences, that as I reach the end of my time here, I wonder if those differences will ever start to feel normal again.
But don't get me wrong - I had an absolutely amazing vacation. Holding my baby niece and seeing how much she's growing was so precious; I wanted to cry when leaving her (I'm pretty sure she was crying too, but I think it was more that she was hungry). I was also able to attend two very fancy and fun events - my cousin Scott's bar mitzvah, which was absolutely unforgettable...my cousins and I danced so hard that my calves were on fire the next day, and it was amazing to reconnect with family after so long. And the following week at Marielle and Tim's wedding, I was overcome with joy to celebrate alongside with them, in addition to my other best friends from college. It really hit me that we are turning into "grown-ups" yet I so much value the strong friendship that we have maintained. Other highlights include: a fun visit at Alaina and Aaron's condo, eating tons of ice cream with them, Stefanie, Tanya, and all our respective significant others, to celebrate Tanya and Anuj's engagement, happy hour-ing with former colleagues, eating deliciously greasy NYC pizza with Reena, seeing so many cousins, aunts, and uncles for various food-related activities, and doing some awesome long runs with David between the chaos of travel. It's hard to find the words to describe how special the trip was, especially knowing that the next time I see everyone will be under much different circumstances, and some of those people I may not see for quite a while (especially my dear, and very courageous, friend Tanya who is moving to Australia in a few weeks!) And of course, a good mani/pedi and some quality playtime with Toro is really what made the trip 100% perfect :)
Coming back to Guate was really, really hard. I was choking back tears as the plane landed in Guatemala City. But, the optimist inside me knew that within no time I'd be adjusted back to "normal" life, and that the sadness I felt to say bye to friends and family back home will be nothing like the sadness I know I'll feel when I have to say goodbye to my friends and "family" here in a short amount of time. Luckily, I was right, and the homesickness disappeared within a few days. Since I've been back, it has been such a whirlwind of events, mostly Peace Corps related, such as the annual All-Volunteer Conference, where I presented to PCVs on how they can implement small projects with USAID funds, and the annual 4th of July party, where I indulged in plenty of beer and then participated in a whipped cream pie eating contest (note to self: beer and whipped cream are an AWFUL combo!!) We finished out the fun with a few days at the beach, where I felt so tranquil and happy to relax with good friends and listen to the waves crashing at night. That is, until the second night, when I discovered small animal droppings on my bed, thanks to a lizard in the thatched roof ceiling who had obviously eaten something that didn't agree with him (or her). Ugh...sometimes I really question whether I am cut out for Peace Corps!
Soon after this trip, my friends and former colleagues Elizabeth and Kimberly came for a visit, which was spectacular. We did an incredible amount of travel within the 4 short days they were here - seriously, I did the same itinerary with them that I've done with other visitors over 10 days! - but it was amazing to share my Peace Corps experience with them, and they are just two amazing women and friends...the kind of people that make you want to be a better person. But, they owe me a blog entry so I won't give away all the funny stories too soon :)
I have definitely found it difficult to keep myself motivated during this home stretch. I find myself getting overwhelmingly frustrated with certain things that frustrated me all along, but for some reason bug me more now than ever. Like the corruption and laziness and lack of communication that just permeates the municipal government where I work. And I keep trying to give myself pep talks, and then things just explode...like right now the muni workers are just finishing a strike, and next week will be finding out if there is enough money to pay their salaries for the rest of the year. At this point, all I can do is keep trying my best, as hard as it may be, and have grace with myself in those moments that I just feel like shutting myself in my house and not thinking about the problems outside.
One thing that has always kept me motivated (and sane) is running. Although motivation, and just running in general, have been much harder here than in the states, it is one thing that I feel that I have control over and can accomplish real goals, when so many of my goals in Peace Corps are unmeasurable. This past weekend, my PCV runner girlfriend Devon and I just completed the Antigua Half Marathon, which is the 6th half marathon I've done since arriving to Guatemala. The race was an awesome day, not just because we kicked butt, but because you see so many Guatemalans out and doing something positive for themselves, and yelling words of encouragement instead of the normal offensive comments that I hear along my runs. Next up is the Ascenso a los Cuchumatanes, the race through the mountains where I live, that starts at 2000 meters and finishes at 3000. Luckily my friend Erin has been a huge inspiration for me and helps make the training runs a lot more fun.
So I guess I'll finish this blog stream-of-consciousness with a cute story. A few weeks ago, I gave a talk to the women of my literacy class on menstruation. In a country where sexual education doesn't exist, most women don't have a clue how their cycles work, even if they've already had 10+ children. So, I prepare a presentation, complete with a drawing of the internal reproductive organs, and slowly go over the steps of ovulation. Once I'd gone through the process, I asked the women to repeat back to me the steps, to see if they understood. So I asked, what was the first step? and some of the women mumble about the ovaries preparing to release the egg. Then I asked the second step, and got a room full of blank stares. But one of the woman's 7 year old little son who always accompanies her to class says, in his pipsqueak voice, "That's when the ovary releases the egg into the fallopian tube!!" I started at him in awe, and then laughed so hard that my stomach hurt. His mom totally brushed him off, and said, "oh, he's learning that in school" and I was so taken aback, and was like, "he is most definitely NOT learning this in school, but the fact that he paid attention to me just now means that he's learning...smart little guy you have!" and she just looked so surprised and happy. We Peace Corps Volunteers have to learn to treasure the small victories, so even if that 7 year old little boy was the only one who understood in the end, I guess I'll take it!!
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